Jet setting mums

Being a working mum is exhausting enough without the travel requirements that come with this globalised world. I just got back home after a seven day trip and as on most trips, this time too I wondered what other mums go through.

I have felt less guilty about travel in the first two years of T's life than I have in the last four months. This is probably not the most maternal confession ever made, but I did truly enjoy the space I got every time I travelled. Just walking into a hotel room at the end of the day - no messy dinner time and mid night cries to deal with.

So what has changed? Tarana of course. She can now strongly articulate what she wants and doesn't want. What till six months ago couldn't really be called a 'conversation' between mother and daughter on skype now certainly can. If we don't cut the call in time we have to manage Tarana's tears and questions about why she can't be with me just that moment. The emotional conversations can make what once felt like a luxurious hotel room seem a bit lonely and far away.

Emotions apart, Tarana is only two and a half so this 32 year old mom can surely bribe her daughter's tears away (another honest non maternal confession). So how do I do it? With presents, of course. I realise that it is not best practice to get her used to presents every time I travel but honestly that is one of my favourite childhood memories! Dad would go away on long sailing trips and I would miss him immensely (we didn't even have cell phones, forget web cam and skype). At the end of almost every such trip he got home late at night (after our bedtime, might not have been that late on adult clocks). It had something to do with ships docking in etc, anyway, even when we tried to stay up we almost always fell asleep waiting. The next morning would be worth every moment he kept us waiting. He would beautifully arrange all our presents around our bed, there would always be loads of them, and sit at the edge sipping his morning tea waiting for us to open our eyes. We would spend the day elated - with endless hugs and kisses, and experiencing everything new we had got. Tarana is exactly like that on my first day back!

The emotions around motherhood aren't that straightforward, at least for me. I did obviously miss Tarana during the week that I was away. But at the end of it all, as I sat on a huge comfortable sofa in a coffee bar at the airport watching the flights fly in and out, sipping a cold creamy mocha and reading 'The Undercover Economist' (which is a great read, by the way - the second edition has just been printed), I felt so at peace. Those 40 minutes of 'me time' felt extremely precious as I knew that I was flying back to my adorable, inquisitive and exhausting daughter in whose company reading is just not the same.